This Holiday season has been challenging as family members chose whether or
not to travel and spend time together after months of time apart. Many family
and friends have different comfort levels of what works for them in terms of safe
practices during a pandemic. The key to navigating this time and making your
self-care a priority is to be clear with yourself and others what your vision of a
safe and peaceful holiday looks like and communicate that plan unapologetically
This year after being apart from many family members for what will be a year
next month, we made the decision to stay home for Thanksgiving and not travel.
While in my heart I wanted to spend time with family and friends I immediately
felt anxious and uncomfortable at the thought of several families coming together
under one roof to spend time together and share a meal.
What I have learned personally and professionally is that the path of peace is
always the path that will be right for you. Do not let yourself be guilted or
manipulated into veering off the path of peace to accommodate someone else’s
agenda. Choosing to people please over peace of mind will always leave you
feeling emotionally hungover in every way.
I often get asked by clients, “Isn’t that selfish to not see family and friends, don’t
you think that is harsh?” Pandemic or not, self-care should be what you honor
above all else. What is selfish is someone giving you a hard time and using guilt as
a way to get what they want.
Self-care sounds like this, “I’m really feeling overwhelmed and tired not to
mention anxious about numbers rising again, what works for me this year is to
limit contact outside to those I only live with and lay low. While I would love to
see everyone, I need to honor what I feel comfortable with. I appreciate your
Selfish sounds like this, “I can’t believe you won’t be coming over for Christmas,
everyone is really upset and we all miss you so much, I just don’t see the harm in
stopping by for dessert, what’s the big deal?
Self-care sounds like this, “I am disappointed too and for me this is what works
this year. When things settle down and are less risky, we can talk about getting
together.” End conversation and don’t take the bait of guilt.
A person who respects your boundaries would respond like this, “While we will
miss seeing you this year, I understand how you feel and would not want you to
feel anxious or uncomfortable about getting together. “ No guilt, no
manipulation, no drama and no emotional hangover. Clean and direct.
2020 has brought us many lessons, perhaps the one we can practice this month is
to continue to honor our boundaries and to communicate in a clean, direct way
leaving no room to be bullied into serving someone else’s agenda.
These are lessons and styles of communication that we have to practice regularly
in order to build up the muscle of confidence and ease in communicating our
needs. Once you practice this it gets easier and easier and the fear of conflict or a
negative reaction begins to diminish.
I work with individuals who are working on this in their late teen years and others
who are in their eighties. It’s never too late to learn how to honor what works for
You are Worth it!
Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing at Fritz, Stanger & Associates.
For more information visit fritzstanger.com and changyourstoryllc.com
Pandemic living has heaped the stress upon us emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. The normal boundaries of time that separate work and home, family time and friend time and ANY alone time have all blurred together. There seems to be no space to have time to think about nothing or simply do nothing!
Take small increments of time all day long to reset
If you have any alone time use it to come back to the breath, close your eyes and give yourself 60 seconds of being present in the moment with your breath and body. This will bring you an immediate sense of peace even if its only for 1 minute!
Use time in the car if and when you are alone as a time to check in with yourself emotionally
Ask yourself out loud how you are doing? Say your feelings outloud and offer understanding, compassion and encouragement to yourself. "You can do this, one step at a time, I am here for you. I understand why you feel overwhelmed."
This simple daily check in is like updating your phone. Any kinks, glitches and stressors will build up without updating your settings regularly. Take a minute daily to give yourself a quick therapy session.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
P.S. We talk MORE about this in our new podcast! Check it out below >>>
Pay attention to your internal self talk.
Does it hold positive or negative energy?
Say it out loud, would you say it to a friend?
If it’s full of shame and negativity then reframe!
“I'm learning to be a good friend to myself .“
Rinse and repeat!
You are worth it!
1. Listen to Your GPS
Our bodies have a built in GPS that will alert us in the way of anxiety, chest tightness, stomach discomfort and insomnia. If we are heading into territory that will throw us off the path of peace, let your GPS direct you!
2. Keep it Simple
When in doubt, follow the path of peace. Don't do anything until you feel a sense of peace and relief around your choice.
4. Say All Your Options Out Loud
This is the easiest and fastest way to see how you feel about your options. Your GPS will alert you to the options that are not for you and turn you to peace!
Don't get caught up in confusion and Indecision. Follow your GPS, keep It simple, and review your options.
You Are Worth It!
P.S. Check out more info on our Friday Facebook Live Video! Kiersten and Meghan chat every Friday at 2pm about different topics. This week they expand on decision making during a pandemic.
Sanity or Safety? Decision Making During a Pandemic
#1: Blood Sugar Crash
If you feed your kids or yourself a bunch of candy or sugar, you might get hyped for a bit... But the blood sugar crash with mood swings are SURE to follow.
#2 Too Much Caffeine
I love myself some coffee... that’s for sure! But I have noticed if I get too much caffeine without doing something active, I am sure to feel more nervous and anxious as my cortisol rises.
#3 Too Much Sitting
Let’s not trap ourselves without movement for such long stretches. We were not made to do this. Try standing up more often, walking with a pep in your step, or letting the sun touch your skin for a minute or two outside!
Start where you are right now with your fitness journey and take steps in the direction you want to go with our fitness audio course and step by step help.
We are worth it!
Do you feel overwhelmed often? Try these simple and easy ways to shift your emotional and physical response to stress!
1. Use Compassion
If you feel overwhelmed and anxious, say out loud “I understand! We'll figure it out!” This will help stop your body from going into high adrenaline mode.
2. Open up the junk drawer in the kitchen
Take everything out and sort it.
3. Clean out your fridge and organize
Just like the junk drawer!
4. Have some Vitamin C
You need more nutrients under stress. I don’t know about you but that citrus smell and taste is an attention grabber in a good way!
5. Move your body
Dance it out to your favorite song or take a walk or run around the block to help you feel better.
These energy shifters can take you from panic to peace in less than five minutes.
We go more in depth on these topics on our weekly Facebook Live Show. Also if you want step by step help with either changing your story when it comes to your attraction and relationships or your relationship with fitness and working out— we have courses for you!
You are worth It!
-Kiersten & Meghan
Dating during a pandemic can be overwhelming and anxiety provoking. Instead of stressing about the process, use this as a time to reset!
1) Be aware of bad dating habits.
As a former crash and burn dating junkie I can relate to this. Not meeting up physically & being forced to date through face time and video chat helps you to make the dating process a marathon not a sprint. Embrace the slow and steady route.
2) Talk to people you are not necessarily interested in.
I know this seems counterintuitive but it helps you practice being your true authentic self in a relaxed way. When you eventually do feel a spark with someone you have some practice at being yourself and dropping any showboat routine.
3) Have fun!
If the thought of dating during a pandemic is too overwhelming, don't do it! Commit to only doing things that bring you a sense of joy. If it makes you feel anxious and stressed out, wait until you are in a better head space and get back in the game.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
For more on this topic, visit Changeyourstoryllc.com and download our Attraction and Relationship course. You will gain insight and confidence to not only your romantic relationships, but ALL of your relationships.
Who feels better when they have great energy?! Me. Me. Me and I can always feel it when I’m around people at a workout or around someone in general what their energy is! If we are being honest, we know that this makes a difference right? The energy we bring to a situation and what vibes other people are bringing makes a difference!
I wanted to share these 3 ways we can do to get and keep us Fired Up!
How do you get and stay fired up?! Any hacks you practice to keep your mind right and pump you up to bring your best self to the situation?
You Are Worth It!
With the gyms closed, fear of all the unknown, and social distancing being our reality right now, it's easy to get in a head-spin of fear and negativity. But we don’t want to live in that place for long or often, right? The research tells us, and I think we all know deep down, that —getting stuck in that will erode and might even devastate our mental and physical health. But we, like always, have a choice of how we will react to our situation. If we will stay down or if we will rise? We have an opportunity to make the best out of this situation and we ALL have it in us to do so! So let’s get some strategy and tools to stay healthy, strong, and inspired when we are confined to our homes.
I would love to hear how this was helpful for you, or what you need help with when it comes to your health and fitness during this time. My desire is this gives you the spark of hope and encouragement that you need today. I want to help you stay healthy and strong during this time! We got this!
1. Invite, acknowledge and accept the feeling with open arms.
2. Accept the feeling without judgment. “Okay anger I see you and I hear you.”
3. Imagine you are hugging the feeling with acceptance and love as if you are greeting a dear friend.
4. Hold the acceptance until you feel a sense of calm and peace.
5. Rinse and repeat 🤣
You Are Worth It!